One Year…Explained (right side)

Posted: April 8, 2009 in My Life as an Artist, One Year...Explained, Scrapel Hill Art Exhibit, Uncategorized

img_0656OK, now you deserve to hear the story about the right side…

As you look at the front and along the bottom of the exhibit, you read the words and get a sense of the initial shock and pain. You turn the corner to read more of the torment and sense little more than uncertainty. All I can recall is the panic and fear as illogical and unpredictable events continued. 

Indicative of my feeling then, is the openness of this plane. I felt very alone and scared, and desperately wanted something I could hold on to. But there was nothing there.

Threatening phone calls, strangers coming to my home for one reason or another. In my mind I began to question everyone – the pizza delivery guy, the people who visited my studio the year before, and even artist friends of mine. After all, they did tear up my paintings and I could trust no one right now because nothing was making sense. Then there was guy who meandered up to my door in the middle of the night to say he had run out of gas. He took my watering can to “get a gallon”. “Hey, if you are reading this, you owe me $15!”

Every car sound, wind noise, and creaking floor seemed to elevate my blood pressure. My little dog was jittery as ever. She was outside when the break-in occurred, but thank goodness was not physically hurt. Emotionally terrified however, she would flinch at the slightest movement and creep around furniture like nothing I had ever seen from her before. This behavior lasted a few weeks and was painful to bear. 

The single parent thing was getting old quick. With no family to lean on and not wanting to bother friends who had their own issues, I phoned several professional government support services to no avail. As in the past, a certain someone, who should have been there for my daughter at least, was far from helpful. Emotionally, I could take it no more and felt I was getting nowhere fast. 

I did my best to balance work and family while taking care of the legal and personal matters best I could. But…was it good enough…

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Comments
  1. Larry Kirwan says:

    I got to see the exhibit on Easter Sunday heading for Greensboro. I have to say, there were others that I liked, but none with as much depth as yours.
    I couldn’t vote, cause nobody was there to take my dollar bill. It was before the shops were open (how the mall was open is beyond me!). I’ll try again later.

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